There are few more ridiculous cuts in the history of hairstyles than that staple of hicks and hillbillies – the mullet. Born in the 60s, the mullet movement became a force to be reckoned with in the 80s and 90s, but never was its power stronger than when perched atop the bulging, Spandex-clad frame of the professional wrestler. Mullets and professional wrestlers – those larger-than-life icons of contemporary culture – were made for each other. Indeed, the ‘business front, party behind do’ became arguably the defining feature of those high-flying muscle mountains, a haircut so ubiquitous among their legions they truly did seem like modern day Samsons. Here are 10 of the worst mullets from the world of professional wrestling. Long back and short sides never looked so sharp.
10. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake
Former partner of real-life best buddy Hulk Hogan, Brutus ‘The Barber’ Beefcake was blessed with the ultimate gimmick in the mullet-beleaguered world of professional wrestling. Starting with the time he hacked away at the locks of the fallen Adrian Adonis at WrestleMania III, Beefcake began bringing garden shears with him to the ring. Then, after finishing off a foe with a sleeper hold, he would prance around the place, performing his trademark finger ‘snipping’, before cutting off a piece of their mullet (which would magically grow back by the following week) and tossing tufts of hair into the air – much to the glee of the crowd. If only ‘The Barber’ had seen sense and taken the shears to his own hilarious mullet.
9. The Rockers
As two halves of legendary tag team The Rockers, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty were widely adored – the pair’s fluorescent get-up matched only by the flamboyance of their mullets. With fringes kempt but manes flowing down their backs, it’s no wonder they proved a hit in the 80s. However, The Rockers feuded over monetary issues and went their separate ways, the ‘final split’ coming when Michaels Super kicked Jannetty and sent him sprawling through a window on the set of Brutus Beefcake’s ‘Barbershop’. Michaels rose to greater mulletary heights as the vainglorious Heartbreak Kid, leaving Jancnetty with only fading memories of those homoerotic halcyon days – and the occasional meaningless reunion.
8. Warrior
Warrior was where it was at in professional wrestling back in the day, memorable for his trademark gorilla press, distinctive face paint – and of course his well cultivated mullet. One of the biggest stars of the early 90s and the heir apparent to Hulk Hogan, Warrior was known for bursting into the ring and ferociously shaking the ropes – while his mullet would shake with them. After being fired from the WWF in 1992, this meat golem billed as from “parts unknown” made a comeback a year later, but his hair had been chopped shorter, fueling rumors that it was a different man behind the mask. Surely no one else could replicate that crazy coiffure? Championship winning wrestler. Championship winning mullet.
7. Jimmy Hart
Not actually a wrestler but rather a manager of the headline-grabbing brutes in the business, Jimmy ‘The Mouth of The South’ Hart has been the brains behind the brawn of such notable names as Hulk Hogan and Brett Hart. As if leading by example, embracing the image his disciples should follow, Hart showcased his own prize-winning mullet, a specimen significant enough to have been clipped by Brutus Beefcake’s shears at WrestleMania IV. Hart is also notable for having appeared in TV commercials for Medical Hair Restoration. Really, though, Jimmy, while your receding hairline might have been in need of such treatment, we hope you didn’t consider applying it to the back of your head. Really no need.
6. Sid Vicious
Unkempt curly blond mullets don’t come more impressive than that which grew from the invariably bright pink face of Sid Eudy – aka Sid Justice, Sycho Sid (both WWF) and, best of the lot, Sid Vicious (WCW). Sid was part of many a hairbrained storyline during his time in the wrestling limelight – often as a foil to more popular follically challenged stars like Hulk Hogan. Sid once appeared on Brutus Beefcake’s ‘Barbershop’ show, attacking his shears-wielding host and smashing up the set. A more serious incident involving scissors occurred in 1993 when he was mixed up in a hotel room scuffle with fellow wrestler Arn Anderson that left the latter suffering stab wounds. We can think of better uses for those cutting instruments, Sid…
5. Eddie Guerrero
Eddie Guerrero sported a mullet with such aplomb, he practically became synonymous with the hairdo during a career nearly as long and illustrious as the locks that must’ve kept the back of his neck warm on even the coldest of nights. The self-styled “Latino Heat” with the sneaky tendencies was a Mexican-American pro who plied his trade as far away as Japan, but his mullet transcended any national boundaries – for the mullet is truly a universal language unto itself. Before his death due to heart failure in 2005, Guerrero achieved many great things – including becoming the WWE champ in 2004 – but he did also suffer a loss in a hair vs mask match while wrestling in Mexico’s AAA in 1994. Oh, the shame.
4. Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts
Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, one of the stars of professional wrestling’s golden era in the 80s and 90s, is well remembered for his gimmick: the snakes he carried with him into the ring, among them boas, cobras and an albino Burmese Python called Revelations, which were often draped around him in photo shoots. But the born-again Christian and real-life traveling preacher should also be commemorated for another feature regrettably eclipsed by his snakish ways: his monumental mullet. Despite the visible effects of thinning on top, the sweaty mop that draped down the nape of Jake’s neck was preserved with remarkable fortitude – even after losing a hair vs hair match while working in the Mexican AAA. The stuff of legend.
3. Hulk Hogan
Undoubtedly the biggest name in professional wrestling and the darling of Hulkmaniacs the world over, 12-times world champion Hulk Hogan muscles his way into this list naturally not due to his wrestling prowess but by virtue of a loophole in our criteria – and courtesy of a mullet style peculiar to him. The skullet. And what a skullet it is. The megastar of the squared circle for over 30 years, Hogan is instantly recognizable by his trademark handlebar mustache and shock of white-blond hair, but also by the fact that his silver locks are draped around a pate bald enough to fry an egg on – when not concealed by a well-placed bandanna. The result is a mullet like no other on a man like no other – the hairdo almost as iconic as the beautiful beefcake himself.
2. Mike Awesome
The awesomely named Mike Awesome once had a mullet so impressive it’s said it made him the most feared wrestler of all time in Japan – where he spent part of his career in the FMW under the nickname The Gladiator. Yes, his was truly a mullet to scare his fellow Spandex wearers to their very hearts. One of the more recent stars in the world of wrestling, Awesome tragically committed suicide in 2007, leading one irreverent blogger to speculate on a possible link between a wrestler disavowing his mullet and his imminent demise. “It’s simple. Getting rid of mullets kills you. It’s scientifically proven. Eddie [Guerrero] got rid of his, Mike got rid of his.” With the prevalence of mullets in pro wrestling, we seriously hope he’s not onto something…
1. Shawn Michaels
…Of course he’s not! Shawn Michaels grew more hair on top and he’s still going. But, back in the day… Renowned for the reach of his mullet, he has the dubious honor of being included in this list twice, Shawn Michaels was as camp as they come in his heyday as the Heartbreak Kid in the mid-90s, his tops-off posing and over-the-top attire lending themselves perfectly to his image as the villain folks loved to hate. Shorn of the baggage that was former gay-dlo fellow Rocker Marty Jannetty, Michaels went on to become a four-time world champion, but one thing we hoped he’d never be shorn of was the ridiculous rug of hair that unfurled over whatever equally ridiculous get-up he happened to be wearing. Still, as an elder statesman of the WWF (now WWE) and a bona fide ambassador of the mullet, Shawn, we salute you.
Source: http://www.sugarslam.com/
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